Fat experiences

Man, the more I read this, the more I was doing the "this is so me" meme.

Honestly, I want to gain weight, I wish I could gain on purpose and yet somehow when I notice myself gaining weight I don't feel that much satisfied about it and think that I should just go easy. Especially since technically I have a couple health problems that stem from it.

And I also have the same feeling about my self image. I hate looking myself on the mirror, but feeling my stomach bulging out is the best. Its so confusing.

Regardless what I can say (even though this might be a case of preaching what I don't practice) is having a deep discussion with yourself and decide on what YOU want and not what others want of you. Its fine to feel conflicted, all I'm saying is to live your life the way you would like to.

I have also felt like that before. I don't think I can say I've ever been fat, my heaviest has been about 172 lbs, after a toxic relationship that isolated me from everyone. It sure was a bloody high price to pay, but it's the only thing that's been effective in fattening me. My mum started giving me constant comments implying that it was not something that should happen to *me*, like being fat is meant for the others, not for me. It's hard to explain, but in a nutshell I think she meant that I was superior to those who got fat and that I should not let that happen to me. I thing this is utter bullshit, there's no such thing as superior people, nevertheless I did lose the weight after that, even though I had never experienced as much pleasure as when I felt my (technically) overweight body.

I have now decided that I don't want to die thinking how I never dared to be the person that I wanted to be because of these prejudices that aren't even mine. I am actively trying to become obese. Every now and then I think I should stop, stay as I am with the weight I've already gained, and I reckon that one day that'll be wise, but not until I can at least technically claim to be or have been obese. Truth is, it's bloody hard for me to gain, and I also envy those who have gotten fat without even trying. But, you know, I guess we just have to accept our bodies and keep trying hard.

Don't lose your determination, don't let your doubts deceive you. At the end of the day, you have to live your life the way you want or you'll end up regretting it even more. There's nothing inherently wrong with being fat. By all means, keep track of your health and do lose weight if a health specialist tells you it's threatening your life or wellbeing, but don't listen to anyone that tries to imply that you're turning yourself into a lesser kind of person for getting fat, no matter how much you love this person or if it's a figure of authority to you.

It is okay to be uncertain about what you want. It sounds like no matter what body type you choose, you’ll always come across something you don’t like. I think you should go with the option that is the least stressful for you. It is not your fault that you have this kink, so try to accept it as a part of who you are. If you decide to lose weight, you will always have the pleasure in fantasizing about being bigger without actually being fat. If you decide to stay fatter, then your fantasies are your reality and only you can prevent yourself from enjoying the lifestyle. Hearing rude comments from family members can definitely hit your ego, but maybe you can turn their remarks into a positive thing. If you like gaining weight, maybe you’re actually succeeding since people have taken notice of your gain. And I think that the actual amount of girls who like big guys are not accurately reflected in this website’s population. There are definitely more women out there who love guys like you! It must also be hard knowing your girlfriend does not appreciate your weight gain. You say she didn’t sign up for this, but she is still making an effort to be by your side even after knowing about your kink. And even if it doesn’t work out, fear not! When you’re ready, the right person will come to you. Life really is too short to worry about how others feel about your body. It’s your body! Own it! But also, do what you think is the best option for your day to day lifestyle. Do you see family often and constantly get comments about your weight? Or do you think you can let it slide if you only see them every now and then? Do you want to change your body for yourself, or are you doing it to please others? It’s a lot to think about because your body is a representation of yourself, so in other words, who do you want to be? (Or maybe you can be in the middle and be both haha)

It does not sound like feederism is for you. Once you gain the weight, it is highly unlikely you can lose it, and keep it off. You have to be into feederism so much, that insults make you happy that you have succeeded in gaining.

Idk if I’m really qualified to throw my hat in this ring but let me give it a try. You mentioned at the end that you have self-acceptance problems, and it sounds like general confidence problems as well. That’s normal! esp for where you are in life right now. I don’t think virtually anyone knows who they are or what they want for sure before their mid-twenties, and I wouldn’t commit to *anything* serious at that age, honestly, because your views about the world and yourself will still change. But don’t try to figure out the weight thing before you have a better sense of self, who you are as a person. Try to be patient with yourself when you find yourself struggling with whether to gain or lose lots of weight until you feel a little more comfortable in your own skin, go with your body’s natural flow and try to accept what that looks like, and give yourself some grace for when you’re struggling with it. It may take years to feel that confidence (and like.. it’s probably never gonna be perfect... at least 10 years out from college I can say it’s not), but it does get better with a few more years.

Honestly, I feel you!
Dating as a fat guy is not easy, female feeders are a rear.
So getting fat in a relationship if she doesn’t like it is kind of not cool.
Because I think we should try to match your partners perferance at least to some exdent.
What could be an idea for your Problem ist to start lifting you gain muscle And you will look big but not fat so you have some time to figure things out

I have met a lot of women and girls into big guys, but not many female feeders. Many female gendered persons I know prefer a big guy since big is often also seen as strong and powerful and there are girls who prefer to feel tiny next to their SO.

A female feeder is somewhat rarer and personally I see a lot of reasons for that, the greatest reason of them all being women still earning a bit less money - but even for those that earn more than their male colleagues are spending much more on cosmetics and beauty products and menstrual hygiene PLUS they traditionally often expect to be financially provided to so they are not interested in providing themselves. Food is just… expensive.

But a female FA? There are soooo many of us

I agree with the texts from you guys above. I feel the same. Especially the "what will others think of me"-factor makes me think that I should go to gym. But on the other hand I also like to see my little belly grow and to see bigger numbers on the scale.
So eventhough I have those clarity moments I still gain passively. There are also some weeks and days where I eat a lot

I resonate with a lot of this. The feeling of revulsion can be very strong, especially when I see people who do not take care of themselves. But I really can't help that it's still somehow attractive in a way. I have never been able to tell anyone in my life about this, not even significant others, parents, friends, etc, and the times I have 'gained' are short and always end with me getting a workout plan. I've gone so far in the other direction that I now work at my campus gym...needless to say, I don't have this figured out yet.

Talking about it is a good start though, for all of us. This is a great forum. Talking with a trusted friend or therapist might help too. Developing a healthy relationship with your kinks is developing a healthy relationship with yourself.

I absolutely get it.. I've gone 10 days of gaining, and I've been refraining from any sexual activities for this reason.It helps, but there are still moments when I think to myself, what am I doing, then I just start rubbing my new belly and Im back on track...my plan is to gain enough weight as quickly as possible in a few weeks that itll be harder to go back when I do have regrets